DAY 30
Did you ever feel so out of control of your life? What would trigger you to be that way? One thing? Many things? Giving out a facade of normality in adversity might look brave, but how long can you hold out for? Ok job, ok boyfriend, ok friends all gone in less than three months. Ok life gone. Drink and prescription drugs are helping - you see a lie already - I'm blaming them for my odd behaviour. I knew Pete was messing around with someone, there were signs, which I chose to ignore, being proved right is not great, there is no satisfaction in it, it's not like getting a question right and winning a million quid. There's pain, crying, anger, begging, swearing, nasty emotions and behaviour that nobody in their right mind would choose to do unless of course you are Meryl Streep and up for an Oscar!